How To Drive a Peruvian Crazy
Posted on | May 29, 2012 | 26 Comments
Gossiping about my barefeet and iced drinks
Photo credit: kevinrosseel from morguefile.com
One thing I like to do, as an expat mom, is read other blogs written by other expat moms. I like to compare notes, and see what experiences other women have – especially when they’re in a cross-cultural marriage, and raising kids in that cultural mix-mash.
You know what they say – misery loves company. 
So, it’s no surprise that I love reading Rachel’s Rantings in Rio. I really am surprised by how many similarities there are between her experiences and mine – I wouldn’t have thought of Rio de Janeiro’s ”carioca” culture as having much in common with the Lima’s “criollo” culture, but there it is. And I had to laugh as I read her recent post about things that annoy Brazilians – so much of it was similar to here. So I’m going to steal her post, and add in a few things of my own that really drive Peruvians crazy.
1. Tell them Pisco is from Chile.
This is heresy in Peru – I’m surprised that it’s not against the law to say such a thing. There are a few other things that are similar, like saying ceviche is better in Ecuador, but unless you’re looking for a fight, it’s best to leave Chilean Pisco out of the conversation. Unless you want to opine on how bad it is – then go right ahead!
2. Show up on time to a party.
It doesn’t matter what kind of party – holiday, birthday or whatever. If you show up when you’re told to, you’ll end up having to wait at least a half an hour for anyone else to show. If it’s a party and the invitation says 7pm, don’t go until 10pm. Our last New Year’s Eve party was dead until AFTER midnight, then went on until 7am!
3. Go barefoot anywhere.
When it’s warm, I like to go barefoot in the house. The tile floors are cool and feel good on my feet. My mother in law has done everything in her power to get some sort of shoes on my feet. I’ll go barefoot outside to get the mail, and people passing by will stare at my feet. It’s about 5 steps from the front door, in my own yard! My maid said she knew it was time to drag the quilts out of storage when she saw me put socks on.
4. Leave a baby uncovered if it’s under 90F degrees.
My MIL actually cried because I wouldn’t put a sweater on a baby – a baby that was sweating from the heat already! When people take their babies outside (and this is up to about 2 years of age) in a carriage, they’ll be in mittens, hats, booties and wrapped in blankets – and it’s like 80+ degrees out! (That’s over 25C)
5. Tell them you don’t care about football.
Despite the fact that Peru has a world class women’s volleyball team, world class surfing, world class boxing – none of it matters compared to futbol, despite the fact that the futbol team is less than stellar, when it comes to it’s performance on the world stage. Also related – tell them you prefer Alianza Lima over Universitario, or vice-versa (depending on who they like).
6. Tell them the Peruvian National Anthem sounds like most other national anthems to you.
Someone, somewhere, once mentioned that they thought the Peruvian Himno was one of the most beautiful they’d ever heard, apart from “La Marseillaise” from France. Most Peruvians can’t tell you who actually said it or where, but they darn well believe it!
7. Tell them their favorite food didn’t originate in Peru
Somewhat akin to the Pisco issue. Many Peruvians are of the opinion that every food eaten here is native to Peru and was never served anywhere else. While they have a good point with quite a few native foods like the potato and quinoa, the story gets a bit sketchy when it comes to things like arroz con leche (rice pudding) and pollo a al brasa (rotisserie chicken). I know a few Peruvians who had a hard time believing that pretty much every culture in the world has its own version of rice pudding!
8. Drink cold drinks.
Cold drinks are the work of the Devil, sent here to make us all sick with sore throats and tummy aches.
9. Keep butter out on the counter.
This might just be my husband and his family, I’m not sure. But I like butter that’s soft enough to spread – they want it to be kept in the freezer. Not in the refrigerator – in the freezer. Then they slice it like cheese to eat on their bread. My husband complains on a weekly basis about me leaving the container of butter (it’s covered!) out on the counter to soften. Yet oddly enough, they see no reason not to leave food out of the fridge all afternoon. They’ll eat chicken that sat out for 6 hours (albeit wrapped up), and then blame the upset stomach they get later on the ice in the Inca Kola.
10. Don’t serve a large meal in the middle of the day.
Lunch is considered the main meal of the day, and it’s a great tradition. I much prefer it to cooking and then having to clean the kitchen in the evening. When the boys had classes in the afternoon however, I switched our routine and cooked a big dinner for when they came home. That made me a “Bad Mommy”. I was tsk-tsk’d by the Abuela, by other moms at the school, by the teachers… Hey, if they wanted to come to my house and cook a huge meal at 9am, they were welcome!
How about you? Is there anything you’ve done that seemed perfectly normal to you that seemed to upset the natives around you?
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26 Responses to “How To Drive a Peruvian Crazy”
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I got tired of life happening while I made other plans, so I quit my job and came to Peru. I live here with my Peruvian husband, two sons, three dogs and various other family members, depending on the weather.
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May 29th, 2012 @ 17:05
(Per #8) For some reason I have yet to visit a Peruvian household that didn’t have an ice-cube tray (albeit empty). At least they are prepared to entertain the devil.
(Per #4) And don’t forget the Chupón (Pacifier). It is almost as bad as not breastfeeding your child for the first two years of their life.
(Per #10) Finally, all meals for your children must be home cooked. Anything outside of that is “Comida Chatarra” (junk food).
Great post, Kelly!
May 29th, 2012 @ 18:21
Thanks, RAchel.
lol… I like it when my husband fixes me a cold drink – and puts one solitary ice cube in it.
May 29th, 2012 @ 18:31
Hahaha, You can take the Peruvian out of Peru but not Peru out of the Peruvian. My husband is chronically late, complains when he has a sore throat that he can’t drink cold stuff and won’t go barefoot anywhere.
I lived in Brazil and there are many similarities in “wives tales” or beliefs. I adopted my twins from Manaus…the middle of the Amazon for goodness sake and got comments and dirty looks for not “bundling” them up.
I have to say that I think Brazilians are even worse as far as “football” goes. FRIGHTENING
May 29th, 2012 @ 19:18
Peruvians love their football, but for the most part aren’t violent about it. There’s always that to be thankful for.
May 29th, 2012 @ 19:36
I’m peruvian & living in US, my husband is american and we were reading this together, we went “SO RIGHT!” on all 10 points you have there, it’s so cool you posted this, he gets to know is not only me!!! He is actually going to join your blog so that will learn more of peruvian culture!, thanks
May 29th, 2012 @ 22:24
Haha! I read it to my husband when he came home from work and he had to laugh about it too! Tell your husband I said “Hi!”
May 29th, 2012 @ 23:18
Re: #6
Hahah. Whomever told you that was probably an Aprista. APRA’s anthem is set to the tune of the “Marseillaise”.
And it’s so true about #3 and #8!
May 30th, 2012 @ 10:48
Number 2 and 8 really hit home. I had a bad cold and a sore throat, and my Peruvian husband wouldn’t allow me to have cold water to soothe it. If I had to add anything that drive my Peruvian in-laws crazy it would be “Telling them to go to a Doctor when they are sick.” Apprently Docors only exist to take your money and to amke up things that are wrong with you.
May 30th, 2012 @ 13:50
Yes! My MIL never wants me to take the boys to a doctor – she feels like when you take people to a doctor, they get worse and die. :/
June 1st, 2012 @ 13:58
I don’t know about drive crazy but it really throws Peruvian guests if you offer them a choice of beverages rather than deciding for them.
We keep the butter out of the fridge but my husband’s family are convinced that eating fruit after about 3pm is dangerous!?!
Linked to no cold drinks – colds and flu are caused by getting wet and/or cold and have nothing to do with viruses.
I have had so many arguments with Peruvians about why my children aren’t wrapped in three blankets on the overly hot inter-provincial buses.
Please tell me your next post is going to be How Peruvians Annoy Us.
June 2nd, 2012 @ 01:13
I love this sort of post! It brings to mind many oddities (to me) I encountered in foreign countries. I had my first baby in tropical Ghana, West Africa, and most of the time all she wore was a diaper (nappy) because we had no AC and the weather was steamy hot. Ghanaians dress their babies in the best finery they can afford, and they were horrified I didn’t but clothes on my child because it meant, surely, I didn’t love her
Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane´s last [type] ..You Never Know What You’ll Find When . . .
June 6th, 2012 @ 03:35
“Tell them you don’t care about football”
This is actually expected from them. Peru is located in a football crazy region, where the loss of their national team can be a big heart-breaker.
Kimberly´s last [type] ..infant costumes
June 10th, 2012 @ 18:20
Cat, sorry but I’m Peruvian and I can make my own decisions on beverages when I’m offered! My father’s dinner would be only fruits at night and has never had any problem, so might be ur husband’s side of the family idea and if we annoy u so much, then maybe u should just write ur own blog!
June 10th, 2012 @ 20:31
Recently, I happened to be looking over a list of items that are forbidden to import to Peru. Literature that says that Pisco is not Peruvian was on the list.
June 13th, 2012 @ 00:28
Craig – that wouldn’t surprise me one bit!
June 13th, 2012 @ 13:00
Sil,
Maybe there’s a difference between Lima and the provinces but here in Ayacucho whenever I offer a choice of drinks, there is always an uncomfortable silence from my Peruvian guests.
I suspected the fruit thing might be just my husband’s weird family.
And the only things that Peruvians do that really annoy me are
1. Whine when asking for favours
2. Leave their small children to play unsupervised
and
3. Get unnecessarily defensive/aggressive if anyone claims that Peru is not perfect
June 13th, 2012 @ 15:04
Sorry, better clarify – number 3 was really just a tongue-in-cheek little jibe. After sending it I then reaized that anyone reading this wouldn’t know that I was actually smiling gently and winking and might think it offensive which was not my intention.
Peruvians don’t annoy me enough to write a blog post about. Most of the day to day irritations I feel in Peru are the same ones I experience in any country (eg. litter, dogdy doos, dishonesty, etc).
But I bet I could find a blog post in me about how much I hate Inka Farma (I know it’s not a Peruvian company, but seriously who thought that making you queue three times was a good business model.
Sil – a genuine question if you’re still around: Where did you learn English? Your phrasing and constructions are really native-speakery. I normally have to bang my students over the head with a textbook about ten times before they stop saying “I disagree” or “I don’t agree” and start using “I’m sorry but…”.
June 27th, 2012 @ 12:53
First thing world class women’s volleyball mmm I don’t think so maybe in Seoul Olympics(1988).Surfing tell me who really cares, Boxing only if you count women’s boxing as something important, and lastly yes their so called gastronomy overrated and overly spiced with everything from culantro to ajinomoto (MSG) and talk about outright robery from another country Chifa(china) and nikkei (japan) and in football they are just plain horrible.
July 4th, 2012 @ 10:25
How to drive an American insane in 2 steps or less !!!
1- Tell them that Canada has Better Places to visit, friendly people, better Food, Best Schools, Better Medical insurance and treatment, better Goverment and Better secret service (lol)
2- Hide the Remote control, Vibrator and Play Station
3- Done :p
July 4th, 2012 @ 11:17
Love this!!
I just celebrated my 14th anniversary living here in Peru. I have a Peruvian ex-husband and a current Peruvian husband and 3 half Peruvian children. You could say that I love Peru. I find that every single item on this list is so true that it’s hilariously funny!
Unless it’s a Starbuck’s I drink everything with a FULL glass of ice – even Starbuck’s at times and people ask me how I can walk around in short sleeves all year long. But the one thing that has always got me in a fit is when people open the refridgerator with a scarf over their faces… CLASSIC Peruvian! I think that I’ve been here long enough that people who know me, know that I do all of those typical American things like arrive on time, speak my mind and scream at driver’s or stick a finger out the window on a daily basis and at the same time love the delicious food, the warm people and relaxed way of life here. It’s a give and take. =)
July 4th, 2012 @ 12:46
Stay classy, “Anonimous”!
July 12th, 2012 @ 17:13
Thanks for the advice Kelly, but i`m “classy” only when they don`t make fun of my people, yes you guessed it, i`m from Lima : ) i`m not the type of of people that make fun of someone behind the courtain. We have a saying in Peru that said: Don`t trow stones to your neighbor if you have a glass house…
July 28th, 2012 @ 23:28
I do not know how can all of you American women are such as an IDIOT mentality to waist the time and compare people’s life in other countries. I guess all of you are not going to like what other people think about to life in the USA. I just founded all of your comments as the trash I have to see everyday in California… bunch of ignorant white trashes…
July 29th, 2012 @ 11:40
I guess the difference between you and me is that I look at the differences con cariño, while you have a mind full of odio. Que pena tu corazon es tan llena de rencor y odia – me parece bien triste.
For anyone else who might read these comments – I hope you won’t judge Peruvians by Cecilia’s hateful reactions. The vast majority are warm and loving people who will go out of their way to make you feel welcome.
July 29th, 2012 @ 13:12
I hope people wanting to visiting the US don’t assume the people here are any version close to what this mad woman is describing. The women of the US are smart, warm and proud. We are the generation grooming our daughters to run our country, to help make the positive changes our country and the world needs. Hate, Cecilia, doesn’t factor into that plan. I’ll pray you see brighter days.
July 29th, 2012 @ 13:25
Ha! Am I the first American that has agree’d with you Anonymous? I think you’d be surprised to know quite a few Americans do think the “grass is greener” to the North. I’m also envious of Peruvians… because in Peru you can get your remote, vibrator, and Playstation (games) the black market for 1/10 of the price!
While we’re on the subject of grass in Canada, did you know it’s legal to grow your own?? I <3 Canada!!!! (c: